Review: My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2

Way back in 2002, My Big Fat Greek Wedding captivated the hearts of America. I hate Romantic Comedies, but MBFGW was bold enough to put an entire family at the center of its story, rather than its central couple. Indeed, the film owed its success to straying away from Rom-Com tropes and focusing on family values and issues, instead of throwing an imaginary fantasy couple at you and pretending that everything is, and will always be perfect for them.

I know that I may only be perpetuating the stereotype of guys that take huge dumps on Rom-Com movies but then turn around and praise films like Mad Max like they’re gifts from God, but I can honestly say that I possess the ability to enjoy a Rom-Com IF it has a good story and stands out from its countless inbred cousins. Besides MBFGW, one that stands out is a film called Ruby Sparks (although some would argue that this is absolutely NOT a Rom-Com), because its a movie whose primary character is a complete sociopath and a demented little creep… but he still gets the girl in the end! Yay! 😀

Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, I think I can freely say that you should NEVER expect a Rom-Com to get a decent score on this blog. My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 came out last week and took a Big Fat Greek dump on everyone. I heard stories of people whose favorite film beforehand was the original 2002 movie, that came out of the theater crying rivers and contemplating their existences.

 

Story: 3/10

I think a 3 appropriately represents everything wrong with this story; there are, in fact, 3 stories trying to be told,  3 “weddings” happening at the same time, and 3 couples that I absolutely did not care about.

If I had written this movie… hang on, I need to take a moment to process that hypothetical… breathe in, breathe out… If I had written this movie, I would have probably started submitting my resume when it got to the part [Possible Spoilers Ahead, but be honest with yourself, you’re not really going to see this, right?] where the husband comes from all the way out of left field and straight up asks his wife to her face, “WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO FIX US?!?!” for absolutely no reason. There was no build up to this or tension in their relationship whatsoever.  I swear, the entire audience either spit their drinks out, dropped their jaws, or tried to reach out through the screen and slap that asshole across the face. [End Spoilers]

The lead character from the original film, ya know, Toula, the strong, intelligent and independent woman who wants to get away from her clingy family in order to chart out her own path in life? Yeah, well, apparently she has absolutely no memory of those days and has devolved into the epitome of helicopter moms for her ultra-cliched, angsty goth teenage daughter.

But ultimately, no matter how hard it is to keep up with all the plot devices and stories being tossed around in this laundry machine film, it’s just not funny, which is something the first film excelled at. It rehashes jokes in a very poor manner and sometimes thinks it’s hilarious when it’s actually just cringey or disturbing.

 

Acting: 3/10

In the past, I have given most films fairly decent scores in this category, but this one is not receiving any grace. The first five minutes of this film really make you wonder if the actors and actresses really wanted this film to be made. They are not charismatic in any sense and they kinda just spout off their lines half the time, like they’re just trying to get it over with so they can go home to their real and relatively normal Greek families (unless you’re Joey Fatone [Italian] or Mark Margolis [Jewish; whose wheelchair-bound performance in “Breaking Bad” was 100 times better than Eddie Redmayne’s in The Theory of Everything] … you guys are definitely not Greek… I’m onto you).

 

Visuals: 4/10

It’s essentially a Rom-Com, so you know there isn’t going to be anything special here, might as well move along.

 

Music: 4/10

It’s the same music from the original film. So, unless you’re really into traditional Greek music, then don’t expect anything from me here either.

 

X-Factor: 6/10, All the Actors/Actresses Survived This Long

I think the fact that Bess Meisler (the great-grandmother) was still alive to be seen in this film by herself is pretty incredible. These films came out 14 years apart from each other, are both chock-full of old people, and still managed to  have the exact same cast members despite some of them being in their late 70’s when the first one came out. That’s just extremely lucky.

 

Overall: 4/10

This movie was pretty awful. I really do feel sorry for everyone who grew up with the original 2002 film close to their hearts. There are some “cute” moments in the film, but so many that you get the sense that they were really just throwing things in that might save the movie. It wasn’t very entertaining, it wasn’t funny, and I have zero desire to ever see a comedy movie about weddings or having immigrant parents again… at least until they make a movie called My Cheap Toothless Hillbilly Wedding, I’d go see that movie.

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