Who Am I?

My name is Bryce Keaton, and I am the smartest person in the world. Like many others who believe this about themselves, the things I say may make me seem like a pretentious cynical asshole who has nothing good to say about anything or anybody. The reason I may make you feel this way is because it is the nature of those who are like me (the smartest people in the world, that is) to ignore the line that separates fact from opinion. See, the fact of the matter is that everything I say is  the truth. If you disagree with me, then you are simply wrong, and probably an idiot.

The reason I started this blog is because I have a passion for film and a lot to say about it. To me, film is a form of art that holds a unique position in our society. It allows visionaries of all worldviews to display their message to a worldwide audience in a form that combines aspects of all other art forms: the narrative flow of written works, the beauty of visual art, the complexity of musical arrangements, and the performance of theater, all in one masterful piece.

As an aspiring artist, it is important for me to analyze films and ask questions. What about a certain film makes me sick? What aspects of this film intrigue me? What makes other people like this film? Why are they idiots for liking it? I must reflect on these things in order to become aware of both what I enjoy in films as well as what I despise in films. This way, I can better envision my own works. Because, if I can’t fully back up my own works, who will?

I envision this blog to be a series of film reviews that highlight movies I have recently viewed (how original, I know). I will focus on the major aspects of these films that either made me enjoy watching it or vomit from disgust. At the end of each review, I will grade each important aspect of the film (story, visuals, music, acting, and “x-factor”). It will then receive an overall grade based on the average grade for each category. I will also make “rant” posts on  certain topics that I feel need to be addressed or ones that have just been on my mind.

By reading this blog, I hope that you come to share the same passions and love for cinema that I have. Hopefully, I will be able to recommend good movies to you that you may not have seen before, and maybe change your opinion on some that you have already seen. Joking aside, I fully understand that art is subjective. If you truly believe – down in that bottomless, dark pit of pure evil that you call a heart – that Michael Bay is the greatest film maker of all time, then more power to you. I am not here to tell you that you are an idiot, I am only here to state that I believe Michael Bay is a soulless demon who plans his films on the back of an Applebees Kiddie Menu with a red crayon and shows his parents with a big proud smile on his stupid face so that they’ll say, “Oh! Look how good at movies you are!” and then throw money at him to make it so long as they get to stick their big brand logo in there somewhere…

The point is that I am a highly critical individual, and I know that not everyone is. So, by all means, do not let me sway your opinion on movies you love. Loving a work of art is the most important aspect of any art work. The joy that films bring us is something that we can share with each other. Film is the modern campfire; we create and share stories around it, and we create new bonds and memories with the ones we love around it.

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